Drunk With Blood Read online

  Another angel came out of the temple which is in heaven, he also having a sharp sickle. 14.17

  They swing their sickles and pour the resulting blood into a huge winepress. There is so much blood that it flows out of the winepress and covers the ground up to the horses’ bridles in a space of 1600 furlongs.

  The winepress was trodden without the city, and blood came out of the winepress, even unto the horse bridles, by the space of a thousand and six hundred furlongs. 14:20

  And from that we can estimate how many people will be killed by Jesus and his angel sidekick.

  It’s a simple calculation. A furlong is 202 meters, so 1600 furlongs is about 320 kilometers, and a horse’s bridle is 1.5 m high or so. If we take the bloodbath to be circular with a diameter of 320 kilometers, then the total volume is 1.2 x 1014 liters. And since an adult has about 5 liters of blood, that gives us 2.4 x 1013 (24 trillion) people.

  Which could be a problem, even for God. Where will he find so many people to kill? His overflowing winepress requires the blood from nearly 4,000 times the number of people on earth.

  Does this mean that Armageddon won’t occur until the human population reaches 24 trillion? Perhaps.

  Or maybe God will just create more people when the time comes just to kill them.

  Or it could just be hyperbole. God doesn’t really plan on killing trillions of people; he’s just trying to scare the hell out of everyone.

  I’ll leave it for the believers to figure out.

  But there are many other verses that say similar (batshit crazy) things in the Bible, and they’re not all in Revelation either.

  God will kill so many people that the land will be soaked, the rivers flooded, and the mountains melted in blood. The ground will be covered with dead bodies, which will stink to high heaven. The whole earth will be destroyed. So I guess that means that everybody on earth will be killed by God.

  Here are the verses:

  Their slain also shall be cast out, and their stink shall come up out of their carcases, and the mountains shall be melted with their blood. Isaiah 34.3

  The unicorns shall come down with them … and their land shall be soaked with blood. Isaiah 34.7

  The slain of the LORD shall be at that day from one end of the earth even unto the other end of the earth: they shall not be lamented, neither gathered, nor buried; they shall be dung upon the ground. Jeremiah 25.33

  I will also water with thy blood the land … even to the mountains; and the rivers shall be full of thee. Ezekiel 32.6

  I will fill his mountains with his slain men: in thy hills, and in thy valleys, and in all thy rivers, shall they fall that are slain with the sword. Ezekiel 35.8

  Saith the Lord GOD: there shall be many dead bodies in every place. Amos 8.3

  I will slay the last of them with the sword. Amos 9.1

  I command the sword, and it shall slay them: and I will set mine eyes upon them for evil, and not for good. Amos 9.4

  There is a multitude of slain, and a great number of carcases; and there is none end of their corpses; they stumble upon their corpses. Nahum 3.3

  I will utterly consume all things from off the land, saith the LORD. Zephaniah 1.2

  I will bring distress upon men … their blood shall be poured out as dust, and their flesh as the dung. Zephaniah 1.17

  The earth shall be devoured with the fire of my jealousy. Zephaniah 3.8

  I will kill her children with death. Revelation 2.23

  The third part of the sea became blood. Revelation 8.8

  They … shall see their dead bodies three days and an half, and shall not suffer their dead bodies to be put in graves. Revelation 11.9

  Still, I suspect that in many of these verses God is exaggerating. Sure, he’s planning to kill lots of people, but not everyone. The land won’t be entirely covered with dead bodies and the mountaintops won’t drown in blood. So I’m not going to estimate the number that God plans to kill from these verses. I’ll wait until God sobers up a bit to do my counting.

  So we’re back where we started. How many does God plan to kill in the “end times” that believers hope and pray will come soon?

  Well, the Bible tells us how many will be saved, which implies, I guess, that everyone else will be killed.

  I heard the number of them which were sealed: and there were sealed an hundred and forty and four thousand of all the tribes of the children of Israel. Revelation 7.4

  …the hundred and forty and four thousand, which were redeemed from the earth. These are they which were not defiled with women; for they are virgins. Revelation 14.3-4

  So if the “end times” happened today, only 144,000 Jewish male virgins would survive. The rest of the 6.8 billion would be killed by God (and then be tormented forever in hell).

  Most believers don’t believe this of course. (The Jehovah’s Witnesses are a notable exception.) They say the 144,000 Jewish male virgins is symbolic of something. They just don’t know what the something is.

  Are you ready to give up yet? I’m not.

  There’s one other way to get an estimate, but I must warn you. It, too, is from Revelation.

  Here are the verses:

  I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth. Revelation 6.8

  And the four angels were loosed, which were prepared for an hour, and a day, and a month, and a year, for to slay the third part of men. And the number of the army of the horsemen were two hundred thousand thousand … By these three was the third part of men killed, by the fire, and by the smoke, and by the brimstone, which issued out of their mouths. Revelation 9.15-18

  OK, let’s count them up. 1/4 will be killed by Death and Hell (per Rev 6.8). That leaves 3/4 alive, 1/3 of which will be burned to death by the 200 million fire and brimstone breathing horsemen of Rev 9.15-18. Since 1/3 of 3/4 is 1/4, half the human population will be killed in these two slaughters.

  Assuming that the rapture (or whatever) is soon (and it’s always coming soon), and that the earth’s population will be about what it is today, 6.8 billion, then God will soon kill 3,400,000,000.

  So what is our final answer?

  Well, we have a lower and upper bound. God will kill at least 3.4 billion and perhaps as many as 24 trillion (if he’s going to get his bloody winepress overfilled to the Bible’s specifications).

  So let’s call it 3.4 billion.

  Oh, and what about Satan?

  He has no plans for killing any more people (at least none that are recorded in the Bible or that he has told me about).

  God 3,400,000,000

  Satan 0

  *

  A note about the title

  You might think the title of the book is a bit unfair. A single verse that uses the phrase “drunk with blood” is hardly enough to go on, especially if context is taken into account. But the phrase (or variants of it) is used five times in the Bible, and context doesn’t help at all.

  1. God first uses it to describe himself: his arrows are drunk with blood.

  I will make mine arrows drunk with blood, and my sword shall devour flesh. Deuteronomy 32.42

  Now I know that God doesn’t mean this literally. God’s arrows don’t have mouths; they don’t drink blood and they’ve never been drunk on anything. His sword doesn’t eat flesh either. God is being metaphorical here.

  Still, God is trying to make a point. He’s saying that he kills people. Lots and lots of people. And that is what this book is about.

  2. God’s sword is also drunk with blood, just like his arrows.

  This is the day of the Lord GOD of hosts, a day of vengeance, that he may avenge him of his adversaries: and the sword shall devour, and it shall be satiate and made drunk with their blood. Jeremiah 46.10

  And God’s sword is not only drunk with blood; it’s filled with blood and is bathed in b
lood in heaven.

  My sword shall be bathed in heaven. Isaiah 34.5

  The sword of the LORD is filled with blood. Isaiah 34.6

  By his sword will the LORD plead with all flesh: and the slain of the LORD shall be many. Isaiah 66.16

  The sword of the LORD shall devour from the one end of the land even to the other end of the land: no flesh shall have peace. Jeremiah 12.12

  I … will draw forth my sword out of his sheath, and will cut off from thee the righteous and the wicked. Ezekiel 21.3

  My sword go forth out of his sheath against all flesh. Ezekiel 21.4

  I will bring a sword upon thee, and cut off man and beast out of thee. Ezekiel 29.8

  I shall brandish my sword before them; and they shall tremble at every moment, every man for his own life. Ezekiel 32.10

  Your young men have I slain with the sword … and I have made the stink of your camps to come up unto your nostrils. Amos 4.10

  I [Jesus] will … fight against them with the sword of my mouth. Revelation 2.16

  Another horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one another: and there was given unto him a great sword. Revelation 6.4

  God is as strong as a unicorn. (Heck, I bet he’s even stronger than a unicorn.) And he has quite an appetite, too. He will eat entire nations, and break bones and pierce bodies with his arrows.

  God … hath … the strength of an unicorn: he shall eat up the nations his enemies, and shall break their bones, and pierce them through with his arrows. Numbers 24.8

  I will spend mine arrows upon them. Deuteronomy 32.23

  God is angry with people every day. His sword is wet and his bow is bent. He has prepared all the instruments of death.

  God is angry with the wicked every day … he will whet his sword; he hath bent his bow, and made it ready. He hath also prepared for him the instruments of death. Psalm 7.11-13

  Even his clothes are sprinkled with the blood of his victims. (I don’t know whether his clothes are really dripping with blood in heaven. I don’t even know if he wears clothes. I’m just telling you what the Bible says.)

  I will tread them in mine anger, and trample them in my fury; and their blood shall be sprinkled upon my garments, and I will stain all my raiment. Isaiah 63.3

  3. God’s sword and arrows won’t be the only things drunk with blood. God also plans to force people (before he kills them) to eat their own flesh and get drunk on their own blood.

  I will feed them that oppress thee with their own flesh; and they shall be drunken with their own blood, as with sweet wine. Isaiah 49.26

  I’m not sure how much of this is metaphor. God often talks about forcing people to eat other people. That part, at least, is literal. Here are a few examples.

  Forcing people to eat themselves:

  And he shall snatch on the right hand, and be hungry; and he shall eat on the left hand, and they shall not be satisfied: they shall eat every man the flesh of his own arm. Isaiah 9.20

  Forcing parents to eat their children and friends to eat each other:

  Ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat. Leviticus 26.29

  Thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters. Deuteronomy 28.53

  The tender and delicate woman among you, which would not adventure to set the sole of her foot upon the ground for delicateness and tenderness, her eye shall be evil toward the husband of her bosom, and toward her son, and toward her daughter, And toward her young one that cometh out from between her feet, and toward her children which she shall bear: for she shall eat them. Deuteronomy 28.56-57

  I will cause them to eat the flesh of their sons and the flesh of their daughters, and they shall eat every one the flesh of his friend. Jeremiah 19.9

  The hands of the pitiful women have sodden their own children: they were their meat. Lamentations 4.10

  The fathers shall eat the sons in the midst of thee, and the sons shall eat their fathers. Ezekiel 5.10

  Let the rest eat every one the flesh of another. Zechariah 11.9

  So while it is true that part of God’s plan for humanity is forcing people to eat each other, he was probably just getting carried away with his own metaphor when he said they’d get drunk on their own blood.

  Oh, one more thing that believers should know. God wants them to keep their swords bloody, too. He’ll curse (and probably kill) anyone whose sword isn’t dripping with blood.

  Cursed be he that doeth the work of the LORD deceitfully, and cursed be he that keepeth back his sword from blood. Jeremiah 48.10

  Every man’s sword shall be against his brother. Ezekiel 38.21

  4. After God kills people, he will feed their bodies to the birds and beasts until they, too, become drunk with blood.

  Thus saith the Lord GOD; Speak unto every feathered fowl, and to every beast of the field, assemble yourselves, and come; gather yourselves on every side to my sacrifice that I do sacrifice for you, even a great sacrifice upon the mountains of Israel, that ye may eat flesh, and drink blood. Ye shall eat the flesh of the mighty, and drink the blood of the princes of the earth … And ye shall eat fat till ye be full, and drink blood till ye be drunken, of my sacrifice which I have sacrificed for you. Ezekiel 39.17-19

  God talks a lot about feeding dead people to birds and animals. Here are some examples:

  Thy carcase shall be meat unto all fowls of the air, and unto the beasts of the earth, and no man shall fray them away. Deuteronomy 28.26

  The carcases of this people shall be meat for the fowls of the heaven, and for the beasts of the earth; and none shall fray them away. Jeremiah 7.33

  Come ye, assemble all the beasts of the field, come to devour. Jeremiah 12.9

  Their carcases shall be meat for the fowls of heaven, and for the beasts of the earth. Jeremiah 16.4

  Their carcases will I give to be meat for the fowls of the heaven, and for the beasts of the earth. Jeremiah 19.7

  Their dead bodies shall be for meat unto the fowls of the heaven, and to the beasts of the earth. Jeremiah 34.20

  I have given thee for meat to the beasts of the field and to the fowls of the heaven. Ezekiel 29.5

  I will cast thee forth upon the open field, and will cause all the fowls of the heaven to remain upon thee, and I will fill the beasts of the whole earth with thee. Ezekiel 32.4

  I will give thee unto the ravenous birds of every sort, and to the beasts of the field to be devoured. Ezekiel 39.4

  Thou hast given them blood to drink; for they are worthy. Revelation 16.6

  Come and gather yourselves together unto the supper of the great God. … And all the fowls were filled with their flesh. Revelation 19.17-21

  Believers will get into the act, too. Heck, they even get to drink the blood of God’s victims after they wash their feet in it.

  The righteous shall rejoice when he seeth the vengeance: he shall wash his feet in the blood of the wicked. Psalm 58.10

  God shall wound the head of his enemies … that thy foot may be dipped in the blood of thine enemies, and the tongue of thy dogs in the same. Psalm 68.21-23

  The people shall rise up as a great lion, and lift up himself as a young lion: he shall not lie down until he eat of the prey, and drink the blood of the slain. Numbers 23.24

  And, of course, all believers must drink the blood of Jesus if they want to get to heaven.

  Except ye eat the flesh of the Son of man, and drink his blood, ye have no life in you. Whoso eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, hath eternal life; and I will raise him up at the last day. John 6:53-54

  5. Finally, the great whore of Babylon will be drunk with the blood of the saints and martyrs.

  I saw the woman drunken with the blood of the saints, and with the blood of the martyrs of Jesus: and when I saw her, I wondered with great admiration. Revelation 17.6

  [For a more complete list of the cruelties in the Bible see The Skeptics
Annotated Bible (http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/cruelty/long.html).]

  But enough with the blood, guts, and gore. Let’s get on to the killings!

  1. The Flood of Noah: All flesh died that moved upon the earth

  Genesis 7.21-23

  Estimated Number Killed: 20,000,000

  Everyone on Earth (except Noah and his family)

  God’s first killing is hard to beat. He killed everything. Here’s how he described it:

  The LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them. Genesis 6.7

  Behold, I, even I, do bring a flood of waters upon the earth, to destroy all flesh, wherein is the breath of life, from under heaven; and every thing that is in the earth shall die. 6.17

  Every living substance that I have made will I destroy from off the face of the earth. 7.4

  And all flesh died that moved upon the earth, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of beast, and of every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth, and every man: All in whose nostrils was the breath of life, of all that was in the dry land, died. And every living substance was destroyed which was upon the face of the ground, both man, and cattle, and the creeping things, and the fowl of the heaven; and they were destroyed from the earth: and Noah only remained alive, and they that were with him in the ark. 7.21-23

  So the killing contest is over. God, in his very first killing, wins the prize. The guy who killed everything “on the face of the earth” is the world’s top killer. He beats Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, Ghengis Khan. All those guys. Maybe not in terms of the number killed, but certainly in percentage. You just can’t beat 100%.

  Of course, God had his reasons. God always has his reasons.

  God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. And it repented the LORD that he had made man. 6.5

  The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with violence. And God looked upon the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth. … The earth is filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will destroy them with the earth. 6.11-13